I had an epiphany last night: how you define success determines where you need to direct your efforts.
If you want to be good at your craft, focus on honing your abilities. If you want to build wealth, focus on how you earn, spend, and manage your money. If you want to be famous, focus on promotion. If you want all three, you need to work on that combination.
My time in the entertainment industry has shown me that the most talented people aren’t always the ones who become famous. Often, it’s the people with the most relentless promotion behind them.
I know musical geniuses who get no camera time because, despite their talent, they don’t have anyone backing them. They’re working stiffs trying to make a living. Meanwhile, I know people who openly admit they aren’t talented. Some have hired me to be the talent that keeps their crowds happy. But they are relentless in their self-promotion. They get publicity, land appearances in film and television alongside A-list actors, and turn those opportunities into a living in New York City—which is certainly not cheap.
Last night, after watching my youngest’s choir performance, I stopped at a bar for dinner. There, I watched a man in his twenties approach two women around his age and strike up a conversation.
I hadn’t seen anything like that in decades. Usually, people stay clustered with their own groups. I rarely see someone walk up and introduce themselves anymore. He was decent-looking, spoke well, and the women seemed pleased with the interaction. Apparently, people still meet at bars.
But another thought hit me: that willingness to put himself out there could serve him well in business, too. You have to be willing to approach people, humble yourself, and risk rejection to get a shot.
There’s a saying:
“Scared money don’t make money.”
That applies to more than money. If your fear of failure, success, or both holds you hostage and stops you from acting, you’re guaranteeing that nothing changes.
Not everyone is comfortable promoting themselves. I understand that. There can be shame attached to self-promotion, especially when other people are eager to put it there.
When I promoted myself during my time on television, people contacted me to ask whether I was ashamed of myself. If I wasn’t, they said, I should be. Apparently, putting myself out there was “a bad look.”
Even now, on TikTok Live, I’m told I’m “begging” for coins when I encourage people to participate in battles. But how different is that from a busker asking for tips or a server reminding customers that gratuities are appreciated?
If you enjoy what someone offers, a tip is a way to show appreciation. You’re receiving something: their time, attention, service, or entertainment. That applies to a server, musician, comedian, or TikTok Live host.
There is no shame in asking people to support your work. And if you don’t promote yourself, how will anyone know who you are or what you do?
Many of us hoped that honing our craft would be enough to get us noticed. It’s an honorable goal, but talent alone doesn’t guarantee the things we’re working toward: self-sufficiency and, for some, fame. Those goals also require the skills of a good manager and a good promoter.
That brings me to my own dilemma.
I’m good at what I do. I have character, charisma, and talent. I know I’m not easily forgotten. What I need is someone who can promote me, push me to become better, and get me in front of people and into places I couldn’t reach on my own.
If you’ve seen The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I need my own Susie Myerson: relentless, ambitious, dedicated, ballsy, and loyal. Someone whose God-given gift is getting talent seen by the right people. Someone who believes in my abilities so deeply that they feel it in their gut—and whose belief and commitment don’t waver.
Last year, I learned a lot about myself. I pushed back against the security I’d been guaranteed because I finally understood the price I was paying, and it was too high. I resurrected my goals and started working toward the possibility of a different life.
Last night’s revelation helped me understand that my reasoning was correct, but my direction needed adjusting.
So now, I’m adjusting it.
I’ve already set two goals for myself: landing roles in both the Marvel and DC cinematic universes, and giving a TED Talk. The acting roles don’t have to be big, but they do need to be notable enough that I’m more than a face in the background.
If you’re a promoter or manager who believes in me and my talents—singing, performing, acting, and creating—and wants to back me, reach out. Let’s talk.
You can find me at Mythos.nova.group@gmail.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
— Matthew 7:7 (NIV)
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